Wanting More — Where is True Contentment Found?

I read an article the other day about the richest billionaires in every state in the U.S. Topping the list is Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon. He is “currently” worth $193.8 billion. I say currently because it literally changes every day. According to financial experts, that number is equal to more or less $321 million per day! That number is about $3,715 per second! Think about that for a minute. (for Bezos that minute is another $222,900!). Here’s a link to a graphic about all those billionaires if you want to see the richest in your state. https://www.visualcapitalist.com/mapped-the-wealthiest-billionaire-in-each-u-s-state/

When we think about our financial lives, we can’t compare to those billionaire numbers, can we?  We work hard, but we will never get to $321 million a day. I can’t even fathom that much money.

As an aside, when I was growing up, a million seemed like so much money. Isn’t it interesting how that doesn’t seem like a big number anymore? I know there are many reasons for this (including the cost of living), but it also says a lot about our satisfaction level. Do we really need more than a million dollars to be happy?

Rich Does Not Mean Contentment!

Bezos and the other people on that billionaire list aren’t living charmed, blessed lives even if it seems that way on the outside. They are bombarded by more and more people and organizations wanting them to invest or donate money to them or their causes. They are blackmailed and slandered on many fronts, and all sorts of characters want a piece of the pie. Their privacy and security are always at risk. Their every move is publicized and scrutinized.

Bezos may seem to be “happy” on the outside but is he content? All his billions and fame could not keep his 25-year marriage together. The messy divorce cost him a $35 billion settlement (his wife got 25% of his stake in Amazon). How sad that all that money couldn’t save his marriage. The hunt for more happiness hurt him. He wasn’t satisfied with the good life he had in front of him, so he searched for more. The temptations were too great. The media happily shared his scandals, and his family was destroyed.

Remote Villagers Have It Right!

Back in 2014, a team of researchers from Berkley was studying a group of remote nomads living high in the Himalayas. This place was one of only three villages on the planet where no outsider had ever traveled to before.

Here’s what researcher Daniel Cordaro said about their experience, “We traveled through the jungle, hiked down a mountain, forded a river, and then hiked up another mountain to a little settlement of about 200 families who had been living there since who knows when.”

These researchers were trying to determine if human emotions were the same universally across all cultures. They wondered if these people, who were totally isolated from the world with no electricity, no internet, no cell phones, and no television, would experience the same emotions as those in open cultures. After showing the people dozens of facial and vocal expressions, the answers were surprisingly the same. But when then got to one, there was a difference. That emotion was contentment.

Contentment Here and Now!

Their guide explained to them, “In our culture, this emotion is very special. It is the highest achievement of human well-being, and it is what the greatest enlightened masters have been writing about for thousands for years.” Asked for a translation of the word, the guide continued, “It’s hard to translate it exactly, but the closest word is chokkshay, which is a very deep and spiritual word that means ‘the knowledge of enough.’ It basically means that right here, right now, everything is perfect as it is, regardless of what you are experiencing outside.”

Those remote villagers knew the true value of life! They weren’t seeking more to make them content. They found contentment in that moment, and every moment to come whether things changed for better or worse.

This was like a lightning bolt for Cordaro. He realized that no matter where he went on planet Earth, all of the cultures he interacted with revered contentment as the highest state of a rich life. Sadly, he also realized that in the West, we tend to obsess about happiness. This results in us feeling more anxious, depressed, and stressed.

The “More” Strategy

After further research, Cordaro (with a new team from Yale) found there are only two strategies in life. The first is the “More Strategy” where people are always trying to find more money, more power, more stuff, more recognition, more success, and more validation. The sad thing about this is that it is never enough. It takes so much work, time, money, and energy to try to find that level of happiness that is never attainable. You think you have achieved your goal, but then quickly it’s not satisfying, and you want more.

Did you know that there are more than 20,000 self-help books on the market with “happiness” in the title? People are so eager to find more and more happiness, but it really is illusive.

The “Enough” Strategy

That brings us to the second strategy, Cordaro’s team “discovered.” That is the “Enough Strategy.” Of course, as Christians, we know they didn’t really discover this concept because our Heavenly Father has been talking about contentment for ages. And honestly, the “Enough Strategy” is not really possible without a relationship with Him.

True contentment is not affected by external circumstances. It comes from within – from the peace knowing that Someone else is in control. That Someone loves us unconditionally and always has our best interests at heart. He is the only more we need.

Contentment — Even in the Tough Times

The Apostle Paul talked about being content when he was in a place no one would ever consider as peaceful – a prison cell! He assured his friends in Philippi that his contentment was not found in that prison. He said, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:11-13).

In fact, we read more details about that experience when Paul and his friend Silas were beaten and thrown in prison in Acts 16:16-40. They knew that God was in control. With sore bodies and shackles around their ankles and wrists, they were actually singing while the other prisoners and guards listened. I think if you asked Paul, he would tell you, “Give me more prison if it gives me more of Him.”

The Lessons in Our Struggles

Here’s the interesting thing about contentment – we can only learn it through crisis. It is rarely learned when we are just happy and hanging out or by celebrating something. That doesn’t sound like very good news, does it?

When tragedy or struggle rip away our peace, it is difficult to feel content. It is scary. I know that from many experiences that have left me breathless and hurting. During those times I don’t want more pain, but I yearn for more peace.

Letting Go

You may be thinking, “But Grandma D, you have no idea what I am going through.” No, I don’t. No one’s struggles are the same. I can tell you, however, that I care about you. And, even more importantly, your Father cares about you with all His being. Hold on to that fact.

The more we realize that our loving Father is right there ready to comfort us, the more we can rest on His promises. It isn’t quite that simple, but I promise you that as you practice contentment in the tough times, you will grow to have peace when future struggles come. It is a process of “learning and releasing.” That action of learning to trust and releasing our anxiety and worry into His hands will give us true contentment. The more we see His hand in our struggles, the easier it will be for us to let them go in the future.

I Want More

So what do I want more of? What is it that will make me content? Have you thought about those questions? What are your answers? Is it material possessions or even good health, strong relationships, and security? Those all sound good, but those things can cause you to miss the best our Father has to offer you.

You see, God wants us to want more of Him. That means more dependence, most trust, more faith. What do we get in return? More peace, more confidence, more hope, and more strength even in the toughest times.  He showers us with all of those things, but we don’t realize it when things are going hunky-dory. It is when the challenges come and we are at the very bottom, feeling lost and alone, that He extends His hand to us. All we have to do is grab hold and not let go.

He Knows Your Pain!

I know that holding on isn’t always easy. I’m really not trying to make it sound that way. Sometimes the pain is too deep, isn’t it? You’ve been knocked down over and over again by those you trusted. Sometimes it seems like the battle will never end. And sometimes, honestly, you wonder if He’s even there, even listening.

I can assure you, that He hurts for you. He feels your pain. He hears your cries and knows every tear. In Psalm 56:8, it says, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Yes, He knows.

One Mistake After Another!

Maybe your pain comes from all your mistakes. If you’re like me, you try to be good, make the right choices, but you keep messing up. You really want to be a better person, but it feels impossible. And, of course, if anyone knew the real you, they would be horrified. Right? Guess what. He knows all that and loves you anyway.

I’ve done some pretty horrible things that are secrets just between the Lord and me. I am so thankful that He has washed me clean! I still make so many mistakes and yet, every morning, He gives me more of His grace and tells me, “My precious daughter, I still love you. You are forgiven and perfect in My eyes.” He wants you to know that, too.

Living a life filled with guilt is overwhelming and exhausting. It takes our focus off of Him and all He has to offer us. Instead, we continually focus on ourselves and how worthless we feel. But He wants a better life for us, one that is more fulfilling and content.

Every time you fall, try to stand, and then fall down again—Jesus is right there with you, his hand outstretched, ready to pull you up and guide you to a more joyful life in him. The Bible is full of so many promises to give us strength. One of my favorites is in Isaiah 41:10: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

It’s Okay to Not Be Okay!

Remember, God doesn’t look for perfection in us. He looks at us through Jesus-colored glasses! Perfection is in Christ alone. All God looks for is our willingness to take His outstretched hand and try again. A few months ago, my friend, Jeff Jenkins, contributed a powerful post here about starting over. If you haven’t read it, I’d like to encourage you to do so. Here’s the link: https://grandma-d.com/starting-over-a-new-day/

The good news about all this is that He meets us where we are, not where we wish we could be. It’s okay to not be okay. God is not surprised by our brokenness. His plans are not ruined when we mess up or when bad things happen. No matter what you have done, you are never too far gone for God to redeem your story. Never, ever! I promise that you were made for more. Your life is a beautiful gift that is worth fighting for. In fact, Christ thought that you, (yes YOU, my dear one!) were worth dying for.

I want to challenge you today to not give up, but to fight for your beautiful life—not by trying to do it by your own strength. Fight for your life by giving the fight to Christ. Trying to get it all right is an impossible burden for anyone! Instead, lift up your eyes and see how God is working in your life. God is with you, He is good, and He is fighting for you. What more can we ask for?

My Prayer

Dear Father,

I want so much to feel your presence! I know nothing is impossible for you. You are bigger than all my problems. Even though my life seems out of control, help me to trust and remember that you are here and that you know what is best. Please come into my messy life, my not-okayness, and draw me close. Please take my scars and heal me. Take all my broken pieces and turn them into something beautiful. I want more of you. That’s all I ask for; it’s all I need.

In Jesus’ name, Amen