Mood Swings? Hang On!

Hello my dear one! How are you doing today? I mean, how are you really doing? Staying warm? North Texas is having abnormally cold temps and snow. Our crazy winter, luckily, only lasts about a week. So next week it will be in the 60’s again. Even so, the cold weather affects our mood, doesn’t it? It can really be a downer, making us feel lonely and isolated. We women can be moody creatures, can’t we?

Yes, we are pretty moody creatures!  It doesn’t take the weather to drag us down. We let circumstances control our emotions, and our emotions control so much of how we act and think. It’s a cycle of ups and downs – if the kids are behaving, then we are having a good day. When the washing machine breaks and leaks soapy water all over the floor, our day can be ruined. If our boss gives us a bonus, we are elated. Then there is a phone call from our husband telling us he has to work late again, and we are miserable. Have you ever thought about it? We let life’s circumstances control how we feel. Our mood can simply ruin our days if we let it.

The photo I posted above is one of my twin granddaughters. The first time the girls got on a swing, they were confused and pretty scared. Mommy or Daddy had to hang on to the swing the entire time and push slowly.  The other parent was standing in front cheering them on. Then, after a few times, the girls let go of their fear and started to relax. They laughed and had so much fun. Nowadays, they are swinging champs. Abigail especially runs to the swings every time they are at the park. The girls know Mommy and Daddy are still nearby and will keep them safe.

Moods Are Like Yo-Yos!

I know we are only human. It is normal to react to the good and bad that happen. But why is it that we women allow those events to dramatically affect our lives? It’s like being a human yo-yo, isn’t it? And that is exhausting! Have you noticed that guys don’t do that? They just blow off the negative and don’t overreact to the positive. Their moods stay pretty much on an even keel. Sometimes that drives us crazy. We want them to be more passionate about life. They are laid back and can separate emotions from actions, sometimes to the point that we think they don’t really care.

God made men so very different than women! But He knew that their easy-going attitude would counter-balance our moods and emotions. Is either one better than the other? Of course not. But as women, it would be helpful if we could call upon our faith a bit more instead of letting the ups and downs bring us up and down. (By the way, even though guys are more nonchalant about things, they tend to be more self-reliant than God-reliant. They have to stay aware of that and be careful not to put God on the back burner.)

Hostility Encourages More Hostility, Not Peace!

One of the things I notice about Facebook and other social media is how much some ladies let their emotions rage out of control online. Everyone has strong opinions about so many issues in this country – politics and vaccines, to name two. Why are we bolder posting opinions and careless words we would never consider saying in person? Those negative posts are meant for one thing – to engage and enrage. The whole mood of social media has become critical and divisive. I won’t participate and hope you will think twice about what you are saying before you post it!

One of my younger teacher friends posted about how angry and frustrated she is when her students are disrespectful. She was miserable and questioning whether being a teacher was worth all the headaches. Her negative mood made her actually think about quitting.

Another friend, who is the mother of a teenage daughter, gets discouraged because her daughter never spends time at home. She doesn’t realize that teenagers are social and prefer their friends to their families. It won’t always be that way. Mother-daughter conflicts in the teenage years are tough and can affect the mood of the entire family. A mom that supports her daughter’s choices (within limits, of course) can turn those stresses into peace. This will, in turn, create a stronger bond that will last for years to come.

Facebook Fakes!

At least both of those friends were willing to share their true feelings, but their negative moods were contagious. The saddest thing about social media, however, is the general lack of honesty in our posts. Digital apps that make us look younger and thinner, photo editing software that magically erases lines and wrinkles, and clever memes that make our lives look wonderful can all mask what our lives are really like. We post our best vacation photos, ideal family outings, and our “perfect” life.  What makes this even worse is when our friends see these posts, they assume everything in our lives is ideal when their own lives are not. Facebook makes everyone compare themselves to others so there is an unspoken “competition” in posts. That can put anybody in a rotten mood, can’t it?

Pretty as a Picture?

My very talented photographer friend, Jenn Hodges, says that sometimes she may have to take 200 shots to get that “perfect” pose. Other factors, such as lighting and location, also play an important part in setting the mood that makes that picture the perfect one the client wants. What we see online is the final product, not the many steps to get there. It is important to remember that!

I honestly don’t even like having my picture taken. Have you noticed that when we look at a photo of ourselves, our eyes go straight to our imperfections? I know I always have done that. Haven’t you?  We connect our self-esteem with those images. That’s why we work hard to post only the best, most flattering edited photos. As long as I look good in a photo, it doesn’t matter if everyone else looks goofy or has their eyes closed! Have you ever thought that? Of course, we’d never admit it….

God’s Unique “Editing”

Editing. It is quite a skill. Do you know that our Heavenly Father does a great job at editing? He takes our messed up, ugly, sinful lives and filters them through the lens of Jesus’ blood. When that happens we are perfect and beautiful! Our lives are white as snow. The best thing about our Father’s editing is that it makes us truly that way. It’s not temporary or fake. It is not affected by our moods.

Did you know that our Savior loved us even when we were ugly and full of sin? Yes, but he wanted our lives to be better. The Apostle Paul told the Romans: “You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still (ugly) sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:6-8)

That is really good news. Our value is not based on what we look like or what we do, we are beautiful new creations. Because of this we don’t have to worry about what others think about us and, even more importantly, we don’t have to feel ugly or unworthy. If you haven’t read my last post about Your True Beauty, I’d like to encourage you to do so. https://grandma-d.com/youre-beautiful-yes-you-are/

I’m Invisible!

At my age, sometimes I really feel invisible to others. I think, “No one pays attention to a short, slightly dumpy grandma!” It can really affect my mood. That’s even more true when we are all wearing these masks. No one can see me smile with a mask on! I hate that. I like smiling at others and making eye contact. Nowadays that isn’t easy. But God always sees me and loves me and accepts me short, dumpy and all! He knows what I look like behind that mask, too!

Don’t you just love good news? Just think about this — our Father’s love is not based on anything we do or anything we are. He loves us just because He does. He is never moody! And more than anything He wants to have a relationship with us. Paul continued sharing this news with the Romans: “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:37-39) Wow! I could read that over and over again! Nothing in this world or any other world can separate me from His love! That is some promise, isn’t it?

God’s Hates Covid, Too!

The COVID pandemic wasn’t a surprise to our Father. He knew all along that this would happen. Even before I was born, He knew I’d spend two weeks in ICU on a breathing machine. He knows how this will finally end. He even knows how much you hate wearing that mask!  I mean, who doesn’t?

I’m sure you may be thinking, if He knew all this, why didn’t He stop it? Good question. I know He doesn’t intervene in the mess we have made. When sin entered our world, it caused chaos and death, and it still does. Sadly, it won’t be right again until the Lord comes to take his children home to Heaven, where there will be no more death or pain or suffering. I can’t wait!

Distracted Again, Grandma D?

Anyway, back to the subject (the older you get, the easier it is to get sidetracked! I have noticed that more and more as I’ve gotten older. It’s like walking into a room and then forgetting why I’m there and having to retrace my steps. I do that more often than I care to admit. And, oops. I did it again, didn’t I?).

I was talking about moods, wasn’t I? Yes, our moods are often a product of our circumstances. Now, as a child of God, I can have confidence that God is in control and wants what is best for me. That means I can rise above my circumstances in faith. It keeps my life more peaceful and my feelings more content. I’m less likely to be moody or worried. My emotions are not out of whack. Even when things are unknown or stressful, I can rely on God’s promises to protect and care for me. Just like my granddaughters on the swings, when we let go and trust God to keep us safe, we can enjoy the ride and have contentment and peace.

Peace in Our Struggles? Yep!

I know you’re thinking that I don’t understand your problems, and that your struggles are much more complicated than I can imagine. I agree that your problems are unique to you and your situation, but I have had some pretty complex and difficult events in my life. Some would surprise you, and others might even shock you.

Thankfully, the older I get the more I have discovered that God has not ever failed me in the past, and He won’t let me down in the future. There is peace in that. You know, that “peace that passes understanding” that the Bible talks about? Yep, that peace. In Philippians 4:6-7, it tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

So, what can I suggest that would help you feel a little more in control of your moods? These ideas can turn your downs into ups!

Turn That Mood Around

First, turn your thoughts around. Stop for a moment, take a deep breath, and decide where else to put your focus. Stopping isn’t always easy, but when the feelings start welling up in your gut, turn around. Then make a list of all the “good” things in your life. Yes, I’m saying to count your blessings. Sometimes, when bad stuff happens, we get tunnel vision, and all our focus is on the problem. Our mood goes from bad to worse! There are still many good things in your life. Why not write them down? Your family, your home, your health, (you are breathing, right?). You can even post them on your mirror or refrigerator where you can see them all the time.

This article by Meg Bucher has some great thoughts to help you get on the thankfulness train by counting your blessings. https://www.biblestudytools.com/bible-study/topical-studies/ways-counting-your-blessings-can-change-the-trajectory-of-your-day.html

Have a One-on-One Conversation

My second suggestion to help your mood is to turn up your prayer life. Ask God to come into your mess and show you how to have peace. Ask him for guidance to make it through this trial and to show you how much He loves you.

Don’t worry if you don’t know “how” to pray. It is much different than standing on a street corner, shouting lofty platitudes with your hands in the air. Jesus himself even talked about that! “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” (Matthew 6:5-6).

No, praying is not complicated. It is simply talking to your Father, the one who loves you more than anyone and is eager to share your struggles. He never wants you to feel alone. Pour out your heart. He has big shoulders and can handle anything you say to Him. Then, listen. Let Him speak to your heart. He can guide you and give you His peace that passes understanding.

Good Can Come from Bad Stuff

Thirdly, find a way to turn your mess into a message. Some say turn your lemons into lemonade. When we are in a bad or depressed mood, we tend to think only about ourselves, and it’s actually a pretty lonely place. Call a friend or a sister from church and share your feelings with her. I bet she has felt the same way before and may even be feeling that way right now. Then also share that God is turning that mess into something beautiful. You both can be assured that God always gives us blessings and lessons from every struggle.

Let’s be honest. You may be facing some really serious stuff – your health may be suffering, your marriage may be falling apart, your children may be rebellious, you may have lost someone precious to you. The pain of life can overwhelm you. I know. I really do. Sometimes it’s more than just a bad “mood,” isn’t it? It’s a feeling of overwhelming hopelessness. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, you are stronger than you think. Just know that as tough as it is, you are loved and not alone. Your Heavenly Father is right there, and He will not leave you. The Bible refers to Him as Abba. That word can be translated “Daddy.” It’s a personal, intimate relationship. You can climb up into His lap and cry your heart out. He wants to comfort and protect you.

Practice! Practice!

Now, it won’t be easy at first, and it won’t suddenly make your problems go away. God is not a genie in a lamp that will magically make your life perfect. But the more you practice turning to Him, the more peace you will feel and that mood you are feeling won’t be in control.

It wasn’t easy for me either. But as I have gotten older, I can look back and see His hand in all my struggles. Those problems made me stronger and more faithful. They also made me more dependent on Him. So now when struggles come, I have confidence that He will continue to do what He is good at – taking care of me.

My dear one, He really truly loves you. He wants you to believe that. When you allow Him to come into your life, you will find peace in the midst of all your struggles. That is the best kind of mood to have, isn’t it?

PRAYER:

Oh Daddy, our hearts get so overwhelmed by the cares of this world. Sometimes we just can’t take one more step. All we want to do is feel your loving arms around us and hear you tell us that everything will be okay. Thank you for never ever leaving us and for always protecting us, even from our own moods. Your love is better than life.  In Jesus’ name we pray, AMEN

So my dear child, I hope you can truly have a better day. Keep your focus on the good stuff. Don’t let a bad mood have control! Stay in God’s word every day. Share every problem and worry with him.  He’s just a whisper away. I promise, He’s right there holding on to your swing, eager for you to fly!

Love, Grandma D