Obey, What an Ugly Word!

Growing up in the “old days,” I loved the simplicity of life.  Everything was carefree. Worries were few (at least in a child’s eyes). Imaginations were high. The only thing my little sister Toni and I had to worry about (yes, that’s us in the picture!) was to remember to obey Mama’s rule to be home by dark. And we took this rule very seriously!

Imagination Was Fun!

Toni and I created adventures every day. Riding our bikes with empty coke bottles in our baskets. Trading the bottle deposits to buy penny candy at the corner store. Listening to transistor radios and singing into our hairbrushes at the top of our lungs like we were performing on stage. Acting out scenes from the musical Cinderella under our carport (complete with a blanket for a stage curtain).  Imagining we were magicians, hypnotizing the audience to obey our every command. Laughing and playing with our friends. What fun times we had (even if Toni was three years younger than me).

We girls had vivid imaginations, mostly influenced by the shows we watched on TV. One of our favorite pastimes was pretending we were spies from U.N.C.L.E. out to save the world before a bomb blew up.  We used Daddy’s old tire pressure gauges as our secret communicators!  The Man from U.N.C.L.E. and later the Girl from U.N.C.L.E. were our inspiration! If you don’t know about these shows, check this out: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Man_from_U.N.C.L.E.) Of course, after U.N.C.L.E., there was the original Mission Impossible tv series (which was so much better and more imaginative than all those Tom Cruise movies!). You can read about it here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mission:_Impossible_(1966_TV_series)  (And don’t get this old grandma started on how video games are keeping kids from using their creativity and imaginations! LOL!)

Rules Meant Boundaries to Obey

There are so many other sweet memories I have of growing up, and I wish my little sister, Toni, was still here to reminisce with me. We had a simple but safe life. We never realized back then just how safe and innocent it really was. I know many kids were not as fortunate as we were. You may be one of them. I wish every child could live carefree and drama-free. Life seems more and more complicated for children all the time. But that is for another post.

One thing I always knew, and took very seriously, was that my parents had rules that they expected us to obey. Period. There were no gray areas. No exceptions. That may sound scary and harsh if you come from a fearful home. But in a loving home, rules were not always seen as unfair or unreasonable. Most of the time. They meant that we had boundaries because our parents loved us, wanted what was best for us, and wanted us to be safe.

Not Obeying Had Consequences

Yes, my parents were strict and yes, sometimes we disobeyed the rules (Toni more than me. And if she were here, she would agree. She loved to push the boundaries!). But we knew that the consequences for our behavior were always immediate and just. Yes, they were painful on our bottoms, too.

The worst part about not obeying the rules wasn’t the spankings or the timeouts, it was the way we could see that we had broken our parents’ hearts. They did not like to punish us. It was difficult for them. In fact, it would have been easier for them to ignore our bad behavior. But they loved us too much to do that. Mama always seemed to hate the punishments as much as we did. She was usually as teary-eyed as we were.

Helping My Own Kids Obey

When I became a parent, teaching my children to obey was one of the most painful and difficult things I had to do. It was important, but it was tough. It would have been easier to just let things ride. And sadly, sometimes I did that and regretted it later. Honestly, there are many things about my life as a young parent I would go back and change if I could.

So, there is a strong link between love and discipline, just as there is a strong link between trusting and obeying. Thankfully, we parents have the perfect example of this in our Heavenly Father.

God is the Perfect Parent

Sometimes people picture God as a white-haired tyrant with a booming voice, that zaps you with a bolt of lightning when you don’t obey his rules. That is the B-movie version, not reality.

Honestly, most of us are stubborn and hard-headed enough that we don’t want anyone telling us what to do. That word “obey” makes us dig in our heels and refuse to cooperate.

We All Have to Obey Anyway

Honestly, we all have to obey someone or something every day, don’t we? We have to stop when the traffic light is red. At work, we have to obey what our bosses tell us to do or lose our jobs. We have to pay our bills every month or have no electricity. Students have to obey their teachers. Athletes have to obey their coaches. Citizens have to obey the laws of the land. It goes on and on. So, obeying is part of our everyday lives.

But in our relationship with our Heavenly Father, obey and love really go hand in hand. You see, there is a God, the real One, who loves us unconditionally. He knows our flaws and mistakes and still loves us. Nothing we do can make him love us any less. Nothing.  But because he loves us so much, he wants us to trust him fully and obey his commandments. He doesn’t give us rules to control us or make life less “fun.” He has rules he knows will make our lives better, safer, and even more satisfying. We just have to trust that he knows best. And, honestly, there is a kind of peace and contentment knowing he is in charge and I don’t have to be!

Obey — His Way or My Way?

One of my favorite chapters in the Bible is Galatians 3, which compares the life of the one who “obeys” their own wants and desires with the one who lives by the Holy Spirit and has his fruit in their lives. True contentment and fulfillment come by obeying God’s ways, not our own. I love this chapter so much, I even wrote a book about it! God’s Fruit Salad – A Divine Recipe for a Filling Life. (https://www.amazon.com/Gods-Fruit-Salad-Divine-Filling/dp/1664256725/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0)

The apostle Paul is encouraging the Galatians (and to us)  to “walk by the Spirit.” That means living their lives without obeying their own wants. He says, in verse 16 of chapter 3, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” What are these desires? He spells it out vividly starting in verse 19: “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” (Gal. 3:18-21). That’s a pretty long and pretty serious list, isn’t it?  And that last sentence is pretty scary, too!

Scary Consequences?

Don’t panic yet! Is Paul saying if you do these things, you are doomed? Of course not. God is still in charge and still loves you. He is always willing to forgive you. But Paul is saying that choosing to put yourself first and obeying your own wants will lead you down the wrong road. The more we pull in our own direction, the farther we pull away from God and what he knows is best for us. We cannot do those things listed above and be in the presence of the Holy Spirit at the same time. We just can’t.

The Fruit of Obeying

Now living a life filled with the Holy Spirit is one that is close to the heart of God. What does this mean? Let’s keep reading in Galatians 3. Look at verses 22-23, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

That second list is quite a contrast from the first list, isn’t it? What a sweet list of powerful gifts God promises to each of us who are his children. Which list do you think would make your life feel more complete? Which list would make you have a greater purpose for your life? Which list would give you strength when you face tough times and trials?  Which list would you rather obey if you knew that it would give you peace and love and joy and contentment and even an eternal home in heaven with God?

I don’t know about you, but that second list is the one I want in my life all the time. I want to know that the Holy Spirit is living in me and giving me all that fruit to help me live a richer and fuller life. It’s a much more satisfying life than anything on that first list can ever give me.

As I understand the Father’s deep love for me, I want to know him more and become more like him. That means I want to obey what he says, because I know what he says is really what is best for me. Hands down, the best.

I am not a little child anymore. Well, I’m his child, and that’s all that matters.

Prayer:

Dear Father, You always want what is best for us. Sometimes we forget that. We act without thinking and choose to do things our way. We forget that obeying you is really so much better. Every time we mess up, we need to fess up and start over again. I’m so glad that you are still patient, loving and forgiving even when we mess up a million times a million! Thank you for the gift of your Holy Spirit and the wonderful life-changing fruit he fills us with.  In Jesus’ precious name we pray, AMEN.