Trusting Isn’t Easy!

Sometimes we face challenges that make us reexamine our priorities, our goals and even our dreams. One thing I have sadly discovered is that this is true at any age. Even this grandma can forget how to trust.

I must confess, when I started writing my book and this blog, I didn’t always have the right priorities. That is why it took me so many years to finish writing the book. When I started, it was definitely not for the right reasons. My goals were pretty selfish.

My Focus, Not His

Trust me, I always wanted to help women find God’s purpose for their lives. But, before doing that, I had to find His purpose for my own! I also had to get my “self” out of the way. That wasn’t easy, and it took a lot of prayer and submission. When I got my focus where it needed to be, I finally finished the book. It felt so much more a collaborative effort. I knew God was helping pen the words to share His message, not mine. It felt right.

Lesson Not Learned!

Now, you would think after that lengthy experience, I would have learned my lesson. Right? Nope. My selfish nature came roaring back again with this blog. Don’t get me wrong. Every post has had a positive, scriptural message that I believe can be helpful to any of us, me included. But as time has gone on, I have found myself struggling with what to write about. I have started at least three blog posts within the past month, and they are just sitting in my Word document files unfinished.

Then the light went on (finally!) that I was again trying to write by my own power and “wisdom.” God had somehow been set aside, and I was trying to do it by myself once again. My trust was in myself and my abilities.  I, of all people, should know that never works well!

My Ah-Ha Moment

A couple of days ago, during my morning Bible study, God got my attention again. You see, I had been feeling discouraged about finding the right agent or publisher for my book. All writers know this is not an easy process, which has been made even more complicated by the strong influence of social media and the importance of being “marketable.” I felt alone in this process and wanted to write posts that would draw attention…to me. I forgot to trust Him because it’s all about Him anyway.

His Focus, Not Mine

So, how did God get my attention? Surprisingly, it was from another writer, Seymone Brutus, who happened to write a devotional I was reading on trust. The first thing she mentioned in this particular day’s lesson was a quote from C.S. Lewis: “The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us.”  (Read that again and let it soak in.)

Aren’t those powerful words? It has nothing to do with us at all!  Seymone said it perfectly: “I think we can all agree that we are quite flawed. Beautiful, but broken. Spirited, but sinful. We don’t always work right. And God is not shocked that we don’t work well. That we are sometimes jealous and hurtful and rude and deceitful and too much of something and not enough of something else. That we are imbalanced, and we are messy.” And, I might add, too self-consumed to simply trust Him.

Wow! He loves us!

Yep. I am all of that! But guess what! He doesn’t love us because we are good. He just loves us. Period. That is pretty outrageous and pretty wonderful. Not one string attached.

He knows my mess, my stubborn, selfish ways, and He loves me just like that. I am so thankful that He is not in a state of shock but in a state of grace. And He’s not shocked because He knows my full story from before I took my first breath until I take my last one. He made the beginning, and He knows the ending. Not just my story, but your story as well. We just have to trust that He will make all things beautiful in His time.

More Good News!

But because He knows our stories, do you know what He did? He came. He came small and helpless in a smelly barn. Emmanuel – God-With-Us, God-For-Us. He came to be with us because He made us, He loves us, and He is for us.

I am so grateful about that. Oh, how can I keep forgetting? His arms have always been big and wide and ready for me. I can come to Him anytime, anywhere and tell Him anything and everything. I can say I want Him, and He will say Me too. And I can trust that His promises are always true.

Sweet Promises!

He has so many wonderful promises about trusting Him. How could I ever forget them? Here are a few:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

“And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.” Psalm 9:10

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and He will act.” Psalm 37:4-5

So why do I forget that and try to do things on my own? At my age, you would think I had learned to trust that His ways are always better than mine. I’ve had plenty of evidence of that over the years! I talked about this in a previous post, but how quickly I forgot. (You can read it here: https://grandma-d.com/just-a-wise-old-antique/ )

Just Trust Him!

My dear one, I pray you will learn the lesson of trust sooner than I have. That you will embrace His promises and allow Him to have His way with you. But just know that sometimes we learn to trust when circumstances leave us helpless on our own. And other times we learn to trust because we are too hard-headed and self-centered to get it right on our own. And, sometimes, we have to learn the same lesson over and over and over again!

My Prayer:

Oh Dear Father, my Abba,

I come to you confessing my selfishness and lack of faith. I know Your ways are far better than mine; I know Your plans for my life are so much greater than I can imagine. Help me to trust You more. Help me to let Your will and Your words guide my life. Remind me once again that I cannot do this life on my own power. I’m asking you to draw me closer to You. Guide me. Please.

In Jesus precious name I pray. Amen.